SURRENDER: My heart is full; My heart is heavy

Saturday evening was the women's event at church. The way the church prepared such a beautiful atmosphere touched me. Being with new church friends, my high school friend and my mom to share it was so sweet.

Christina's chat touched me, filled my heart, gave me hope and conviction and made me feel motivated and wistful and sad, all at the same time.

Seeing and connecting with family friends who moved out of town, to Eastern Oregon, filled my heart with that joyful sense of welcome and belonging. David , Steph,McKenna, Samuel and Isaac

Driving through beautiful Idaho countryside, where yellow flowers magnified the illumination of sun on the grassy slopes, being flanked by snow capped mountains rising up behind them, overwhelmed me at how magnificent our Creator is.
Seeing the face of a friend after 8 years of geographical distance, being washed with grief at her loss, sharing prayer and praise and tears and worship together is bittersweet in each extreme.

Ruth and I

Viewing God's raw beauty in nature; Glimpsing death before it's time.

I am grateful, I am joyful; I am mystified.

I am motivated; I am frozen.

Experiencing heights of happiness and joy; Experiencing depths of despair.

My brain cannot compose the words for what is in my heart.

Today is not for me to figure out or to diagnose or to classify.

Today is to allow myself to breathe in, to Be Still, to Surrender...

I Surrender All

All to Jesus, I surrender;All to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him,In His presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all,

All to Thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender; Humbly at His feet I bow,Worldly pleasures all forsaken; Take me, Jesus, take me now.
Refrain
All to Jesus, I surrender; Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;Let me feel the Holy Spirit,Truly know that Thou art mine.
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All to Jesus, I surrender; Lord, I give myself to Thee;Fill me with Thy love and power;Let Thy blessing fall on me.
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All to Jesus I surrender; Now I feel the sacred flame.O the joy of full salvation! Glory, glory, to His Name!
Refrain