On my recent trip to visit my Grandma, she gave me a few old books she was finished with. In her condo, much smaller than the house she lived in while I was growing up, her bookshelves are full to overflowing. And I love old books. Okay, I love books, period. But old books are something special, especially if they once belonged to my Grandma.
These days, I don't have much time to read long books. On the days I do, just about every attempt leads to sleep. I am a pretty energetic person. But when I sit still my body thinks it must be time to sleep. So I find myself reading books that are short, magazine articles, etc. And blogs. Of course blogs.
One of the books Grandma gave me is a normal sized chapter book. But within each chapter is a series of prayers. I have a similar one by Elisabeth Elliot that I love. This one is written by Marjorie Holmes and is called I've Got To Talk To Someone, God -- A Woman's Conversations With God, published in 1968. I love the conversational style in which she writes. And the authenticity I hear through what she writes.
How much of this prayer rings true for you? What parts? I love that she is just so real. And I love that the Lord is just so always there.
"I've got to talk to somebody, God.
I'm worried, I'm unhappy. I feel inadequate so often, hopeless, defeated, afraid.
Or again I'm so filled with delight I want to run into the streets proclaiming, 'Stop, world, listen! Hear this wonderful thing'.
But nobody pauses to listen, out there or here -- here in the very house where I live. Even those closest to me are so busy, so absorbed in their own concerns.
They nod and murmur and I make an effort to share it, but they can't; I know they can't before I begin.
There are all these walls between us - husband and wife, parent and child, neighbor and neighbor, friend and friend.
Walls of self. Walls of silence. Even walls of words.
For even when we try to talk to each other new walls begin to rise. We camouflage, we hold back, we make ourselves sound better than we really are. Or we are shocked and hurt by what is revealed. Or we sit privately in judgment, criticizing even when we pretend to agree.
But with you, Lord, there are no walls.
You, who made me, know my deepest emotions, my most secret thoughts. You know the good of me and the bad of me, you already understand.
Why, then, do I turn to you?
Because as I talk to you my disappointments are eased, my joys are enhanced. I find solutions to my problems, or the strength to endure what I must.
From your perfect understanding I receive understanding for my own life's needs.
Thank you that I can always turn to you. I've got to talk to somebody, God."
I pray you can turn to Him today, to share whatever it is that is on your heart. Me too:)
