National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

We find comfort in the sovereignty of God. There is no lost potential, no purpose unaccomplished; there is only the glorious plan of God perfectly fulfilled in a precious little life" ~Author unknown





We all know someone, or several someones, who have lost a little one through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss.


Today is a good day to let them know you remember.

"Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our life for only a short while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."



These Babies (and many more) Left Their Footprints on My Heart:
Marsha 1940 (would have been my aunt)
Three of my siblings (1970s)
Toby 1980 (cousin)
Joseph 1987 (nephew)
JMMc's miscarried babies (nieces/nephews)
TMB's miscarried babies (nieces/nephews)
LMB's miscarried babies
Paul Christian 1998 (my son)
Paul's twin 1998 (my baby)
Jack 1998 (friend)
Aleah 1998 (friend)
Timbrel 1999 (friend)
KS's baby (1999) (friend)
Amargain (friend)
DF's baby (friend)
Jennifer S's baby
CJC's baby 2007 (friend)
Roland D. 2009 (friend)
Baby McC 2009 (my grand niece or nephew)
KE's baby 2010 (friend)
Lydia 2010 (friend)
MT Olson 2010 (friend)
Baby Hill 2010 (friend)
JMG's miscarried babies (nieces/nephews)


These are just a few of the little ones I am remembering today. I know many more loved ones who have suffered miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss. Sadly, there are too many to list them all. Please feel free to remember a special little one and/or their family in the comment section if you wish.



"The 'why' of so many things is known only to the heart of God, but He has told us that at all times, in all places, and in all circumstances, nothing can separate us from His love".

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

Whether your loss is seasoned with the tears of many years, or if you have only recently been unwillingly taken on this journey, may you be surrounded with Peace that passes understanding and Love that knows no bounds,

If you would like to make a donation in memory of a special baby, may I suggest:

Holt International Adoption

PO Box 2880

Eugene, OR 97402

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

This Thursday, October 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

For people who have lost a part of themselves in the form of a precious child taken too soon, it can be a blessing to know that you remember their children. Whether the loss happened recently or many years ago, that child is still loved and it is comforting to know they are remembered.



Some communities and churches make an effort to commemorate this day with fundraising walks, dinners, candlelight vigils and more. You can go here to find activities in your area.

A Butterfly's Touch is a beautiful organization I am aware of.



Please do take a few minutes to think about who you might be able to touch this year by praying, acknowledging a little one, or participating in a fundraiser.

Let's Talk About Grief: Anniversaries Can Be Hard

One year, ten years -- it doesn't matter how long. Once a loved one is gone, they are always gone. And their memory is a part of who we are. So anniversaries are often hard. It can be the anniversary of a birthday, a wedding anniversary, the anniversary of a special time spent together ... or the anniversary of their death. That is why I write today.

Seven Years. I don't think any American hears the numbers 911 or 9-11 without remembering. And when we remember those who died, in sympathy we think of those who knew them. Those who walked along beside them and were witnesses to their lives. Those who loved them and were loved by them. And our hearts are squeezed anew with sadness.

I think of so many others who are suffering on this day because of the war that ensued. Lives have been valiantly given. Many people have paid the price, either by giving their life or by the loss of a loved one who courageously paid that price.

And I think of people who have recently lost loved ones and grief is fresh. A sweet young mother in our church died unexpectedly this week. She has a husband and an 8 year old daughter. Heartbreaking. Heart rending. Raw grief.

There are those of us who are further along in grief, yet still have aching hearts, and who yearn for that someone who is not here. Every day can bring memories, every year more anniversaries. Once you have grieved, truly grieved, you are never the same.

This is the human condition, yet not a condition we were created for. I don't personally believe death is natural. That is why we struggle with it so. We were not created unto death, but unto life. And one day there will be no more death. No more death of our bodies and no more death of hopes and dreams and expectations.

For each of these griefs we can turn to the Bible for comfort. There is so much there that sustains. When we lost our baby boy in 1998 I turned to it often. I was so grateful for the passages I had "hidden in my heart". And I read alot of books whose authors pointed me toward that Source, and who made so many of the words and concepts more understandable.

"Here we will attempt to show that God is dependable in grief always - no matter what causes it - and that once we accept the loss there is a chance for participation in healing for the stricken person left behind.

Are you rebelling already at that word accept? To accept the irrevocable fact that a loved one is gone, whether by natural death, desertion, divorce, suicide, or accident is the first necessity. But in the early hours of our journey through any darkness,true acceptance is often impossible. You will say "You don't need to remind me that my loved one is gone. It hurts to breathe." But true acceptance does not stop with mere acknowledgment of the fact. True acceptance, when one is counting on God's redemption of grief, includes our agreement to join God in bringing an end to our night of weeping. And you who grieve, only you, will know when the moment comes that you feel you can begin to participate with Him." ~Eugenia Price

We are all today, in our collective grief, remembering. May we be comforted as we comfort one another. And if you are weeping today in your personal pain, I pray you too will find comfort and solace. Let us all reach out in love and compassion. We never know who is sitting right next to us with an aching heart.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be abel to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with whcih we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds in Christ." 2 Cor. 1:3-5

Wordless Wednesday: 10 Years Ago

Since this year is the tenth anniversary of when we lost our fourth baby boy, I thought I'd post this photo. Some of you may think this is sad. I think it is precious. Not exactly wordless, they never really are. But it does speak for itself...


July 4, 1998 Paul Christian, "Little Christian", was born. He was only the size of a Kleenex box but was perfectly formed. We pray God will continue to use his short life, and it's impact on us, to touch other broken hearts.

I have had ten years to work through this, the Hardest Thing in my life, and now mostly view the day as a precious time to remember but don't feel so sad. Some of you are newer in your grief. If you have recently suffered a loss, or are anticipating one, I pray you will be blessed with the abiding peace and profound grace that only God can give. Sometimes holidays, when everyone else is celebrating, are particularly painful. I'd love to lend an ear (via the written word) and to pray for you. Leave a comment or email me.

More Wordless Wednesday links are at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Heartbreaking

Send up prayers for breaking hearts.

The Steven Curtis Chapman family just lost their youngest daughter, Maria.

Stevencurtischapman.com

News Story

Express condolences here (and see same video as below)