My two older boys are really young men now. These are strange times for this mom. In my heart they are still my children, yet they are more than just toying around with the idea of manhood, they are at it's threshold.
Driving with Anthony next to me, he opened a magazine and commented that he loves the smell. It reminds him of basketball cards. "It brings back memories", he said. He went on in some detail, especially for a 16 year old boy, of the days when we'd go to swimming lessons and I'd stop "for special" on the way home and buy them basketball cards. Through his words I was again standing there as they took turns opening their packets to see who they got and if there were any special cards. I can see the look of anticipation on their faces and even the sudden burst of excitement at a rookie card or another card they were hoping for. Those were the days.
There is something reassuring about knowing that a smell brings back pleasant memories he associates with me, with moments I provided him.
He remembers.
Isn't it amazing how we can smell something and it triggers a memory in us that we didn't know we had? It can be a great association or a bad one. If it is a pleasant memory though, chances are it is a smell we love.
This week I noticed that my 18 year old wrote in a profile about himself that his favorite perfume scent is vanilla.
I wear vanilla perfume.
I don't know anyone else who does.
It makes me wish those days of holding him close were not past. It makes me think he's always known I treasure him.
He remembers.
Go ahead my precious young men, keep growing, as you must. Grow in stature and in faith. Grow into the life God has for you. I must release you to that, I am not given a choice. I must release you to go -- and to grow away from me. I'll wait and I'll be here whenever you make an appearance...
May you take with you and hold in your hearts those love-filled days of basketball cards and vanilla perfume.
Are there any scents that take you back to a certain time or place in your life? Is it a good association?
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Product Review Update:Back to Coconut Oil
A follow up to this post.
The Bio-Oil is going back to Walgreens.It's not that there is anything wrong with it. It's just that it doesn't do anything my trusty coconut oil doesn't do. I like the feel of coconut oil better, and certainly I like the smell better -- the smell of vacationing on a beach in Hawaii. It's cheaper and multi-purpose. And I often get compliments on my skin when I am using it. What's not to like? (I order my coconut oil in bulk through Azure Standard)
Oil Of Olay Cleanser: Works fine. Somewhat drying. I like the exfoliating beads in it. Mostly I am keeping it because I trust Consumer Reports. So I am trying it for the long term and believing it will really help me look like my forehead is not pushing down so hard on my eyelids.
FanciFul Hair Color Stick: I have discovered it is not only for gray hairs. When you apply a red colored rinse in between permanent coloring, and your gray hairs at the root turn more pink than red, you can touch that up too. It is a little sticky - but so is mascara, and this is easier to apply in larger amounts. Mascara works better for the temples though as you have more control over getting it on your skin and looking like a little girl who colored out of the lines.
The Bio-Oil is going back to Walgreens.It's not that there is anything wrong with it. It's just that it doesn't do anything my trusty coconut oil doesn't do. I like the feel of coconut oil better, and certainly I like the smell better -- the smell of vacationing on a beach in Hawaii. It's cheaper and multi-purpose. And I often get compliments on my skin when I am using it. What's not to like? (I order my coconut oil in bulk through Azure Standard)
Oil Of Olay Cleanser: Works fine. Somewhat drying. I like the exfoliating beads in it. Mostly I am keeping it because I trust Consumer Reports. So I am trying it for the long term and believing it will really help me look like my forehead is not pushing down so hard on my eyelids.
FanciFul Hair Color Stick: I have discovered it is not only for gray hairs. When you apply a red colored rinse in between permanent coloring, and your gray hairs at the root turn more pink than red, you can touch that up too. It is a little sticky - but so is mascara, and this is easier to apply in larger amounts. Mascara works better for the temples though as you have more control over getting it on your skin and looking like a little girl who colored out of the lines.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Before Even One Of Them Came To Be
My baby has been sick since Saturday. Really probably Friday night. He has hardly eaten. He had a low grade temp for two days. Then Monday and Tuesday he was uncharacteristically cranky. I mean, he is an all-or-nothing kind of boy. When he is being cute and sweet, there is nothing cuter or sweeter. When he is being a poo, well, there is not much question about what kind of mood he is in. And it ain't been pretty... though I must admit I love the clingy part of it, him probably being my last and all (forget that last part. I admit, I've enjoyed clingy mommy and baby moments all along).
Today he woke up with a weird skin something. I don't know if it is a rash. It is more under the skin. Kind of marbley. Looks like what I'd think of Fifth's Disease. But the doc's office says no because the soles of his feet and the palms of his hands are not bright red. And, because of the rash he has had since he was about 5 months old, it is hard to tell. That's another thing. Plus he is sometimes puffy. And crankier than my other babies. The doctor isn't worried, but sometimes I wonder.
Ethan's back today. Anyone recognize this rash?
I am spoiled. I came to the realization this winter. My oldest, Andrew, who was 17 then, got sick. One late night he was feverish and sweaty and really of out of it. I was really, really scared. Me, mother of six, experienced mom, knower of fevers and sicknesses and rashes and symptoms and home cures and such. I was pretty sure he was sick unto death. I applied cool cloths and kept watching to see if there was anything at all I could see that could warrant a trip to the ER. But then I didn't want him in ER either if his immune system was already whacked. He just laid there and sweated. I don't think he even knew I was there.
I did the whole self talk thing. It was just the flu. Lots of people get it. But not MY kids. It must be something else. I thought of all God has put on his heart to do with his life and how it had not yet been fulfilled. But then I thought of the saying about the good dying young. Yep, I walked down that road in my mind. Weak of me, but I did it.That was a long wet night. His sickly sweat, my nervous sweat and frightened tears. (Okay Mrs. Common Sense Mom. I see you rolling your eyes. It COULD happen to you ya know. I thought I was cool as a cuke about sick kids until then.)
The next day he was much better. And I was too relieved to feel foolish. But I did realize that lots of moms see their kids like that often. Just not me. Like I said, I am spoiled.
My sister-in-law, who by the way is probably the strongest lady I know, has watched four of her five kids live with a rare disease. She has lost several babies, one at full term. She has the same rare disease as her kids and also has Bell's Palsy and once went through an episode of having multiple little strokes. In her 40's. She lives her life all of the time the way I felt that one night.
These feelings always take me back to the time I really took to heart that all of our days are planned out already. It was after we lost our baby boy. My three boys at that time just looked so temporary to me and I was afraid of them. They seemed too delicate. The only way I could find any peace, or to sleep or laugh again, was to really understand the sovereignty of God. But apparently it's not a one-time realization.
As a mom, I need to revisit that scripture in my mind several times per day. Otherwise, the joy of being a mom just turns into fear at every moment.
What do you do to bring your thoughts captive when you are afraid for your kids?
Today he woke up with a weird skin something. I don't know if it is a rash. It is more under the skin. Kind of marbley. Looks like what I'd think of Fifth's Disease. But the doc's office says no because the soles of his feet and the palms of his hands are not bright red. And, because of the rash he has had since he was about 5 months old, it is hard to tell. That's another thing. Plus he is sometimes puffy. And crankier than my other babies. The doctor isn't worried, but sometimes I wonder.
Ethan's back today. Anyone recognize this rash?I am spoiled. I came to the realization this winter. My oldest, Andrew, who was 17 then, got sick. One late night he was feverish and sweaty and really of out of it. I was really, really scared. Me, mother of six, experienced mom, knower of fevers and sicknesses and rashes and symptoms and home cures and such. I was pretty sure he was sick unto death. I applied cool cloths and kept watching to see if there was anything at all I could see that could warrant a trip to the ER. But then I didn't want him in ER either if his immune system was already whacked. He just laid there and sweated. I don't think he even knew I was there.
I did the whole self talk thing. It was just the flu. Lots of people get it. But not MY kids. It must be something else. I thought of all God has put on his heart to do with his life and how it had not yet been fulfilled. But then I thought of the saying about the good dying young. Yep, I walked down that road in my mind. Weak of me, but I did it.That was a long wet night. His sickly sweat, my nervous sweat and frightened tears. (Okay Mrs. Common Sense Mom. I see you rolling your eyes. It COULD happen to you ya know. I thought I was cool as a cuke about sick kids until then.)
The next day he was much better. And I was too relieved to feel foolish. But I did realize that lots of moms see their kids like that often. Just not me. Like I said, I am spoiled.
My sister-in-law, who by the way is probably the strongest lady I know, has watched four of her five kids live with a rare disease. She has lost several babies, one at full term. She has the same rare disease as her kids and also has Bell's Palsy and once went through an episode of having multiple little strokes. In her 40's. She lives her life all of the time the way I felt that one night.
These feelings always take me back to the time I really took to heart that all of our days are planned out already. It was after we lost our baby boy. My three boys at that time just looked so temporary to me and I was afraid of them. They seemed too delicate. The only way I could find any peace, or to sleep or laugh again, was to really understand the sovereignty of God. But apparently it's not a one-time realization.
As a mom, I need to revisit that scripture in my mind several times per day. Otherwise, the joy of being a mom just turns into fear at every moment.
What do you do to bring your thoughts captive when you are afraid for your kids?
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Melon+Collie=
This is how I feel today.
Get it?
When I am melancholy, it is time to apply the "mantra" I heard from Gregg Harris at a homeschool conference and brought home about 5 years ago. As a family "we" have adopted it as a way worth living our lives. I have repeated it to countless friends and I am about to read the book his sons wrote on the topic for teens (really, I am. It is on my reading list and my virtual shelf, right?).
Do Hard Things? Today? I don't wanna.
When I am feeling low and just want to crawl back into bed, I usually analyze myself for hours at a time. Why am I feeling like this? At "my" age, I suppose it could be hormones, being low in iron, wakeful night-times catching up to me, something's unsettled in my spirit or with a relationship... The possibilities are endless.
I really don't feel like getting the house ready for company. I REALLY don't feel like "riding herd" on the kids to do work. I am tired.
I really don't feel like doing reading with my daughter out of the same reading book I've used for the four before her, saying it slow and saying it fast, sounding out the words and hearing the same silly stories I've been hearing for the past 13 years. I really don't. I don't want to hear her read the word hunting just fine then get stuck on the word at.
Or listen to my sweet 8 year old trying so hard to do it right so he overemphasizes emotion in his voice that is reflective of the punctuation of the story he is reading. So when it says "We better hurry!", he reads it like the whole town is afire by inflection and volume. WE BETTER HURRY!!!! I appreciate his heart in this and see how precious it is that he tries so hard. And I want to want to sit with him. But today I don't.
Let's not even talk about junior high and high school math that needs my attention. I will definitely raise the Star Trek wall and there will be no putting it back down today. Subject closed.
I don't want to unearth the buffet, recently having become a dumping ground (why, after 7 years of no dumping, I do not know). Nor do I want to face the pile of mail or spot clean the carpet. This is just the visible-to-company stuff. Not to mention all of the other projects that nag at me continually that I can't seem to make a dent in.
Here I can launch into all of the "I'm a Holy Wife and Mother" reasons why all of this will be a blessing to my family and how encouraging that should be to me. Or how I am sure that by tonight I will be so glad I did. Or I can spend some more time analyzing why I am feeling this way.
But what it all boils down to is... when I say the words "do hard things", it isn't just for those days when I purposely take on an extra challenge like walking to the blinking light and back with a baby on my back or in a stroller (3 miles of hills), or those hard things forced upon us by necessity like tracking down a cow and calf over the countryside and trying to get them a mile back up the road and into a stall.
For ladies like you and me, it is just as much, if not more, about these day to day "I don't feel like it" moments and days. !!!
So here I go. I am sticking my chin out and letting my strong stubborn side prevail for good.
Here I go to DO HARD THINGS. 1....2....3....
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Fab Summer Blackened Chicken Salad
Meal Plan Monday is happening over at Organizing Junkie. It's fun to see what others feed their families. And it sure helps keep a person accountable when you know others could be reading your menu. Check it out!
My entire dinner menu plan is at the bottom, after the recipe.
Since some of my friends and I have been chatting about summer meals (here and here), I thought I would post an actual recipe instead of just the link.
Mostly it reminded me of my friend's blog so had to post it, even if just for her. She is wanting more recipes anyway and it is called "Fab" just like her AbFab blog.
I will be making this for dinner for my AbFab family on Wednesday night. But I will substitute dried sundried tomatoes (that I will reconstitute in warm water for 10 minutes) for the ones packed in oil that they call for. And I will be blending them in with the dressing rather than sprinkled on the salad. It makes the taste of those expensive sundried tomatoes go further.
I hope it is sunny again by then...
Fab Summer Blackened Chicken Salad
You'll need:
* 2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
* 2 (6 ounce) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
* 1 1/2 tablespoons Cajun seasoning
* 2 cloves garlic, crushed
* 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
* 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
* salt and black pepper to taste
* 2 cups mixed salad greens
* 1 cup arugula
* 1 avocado - peeled, pitted, and diced
* 12 oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained and sliced
* 1/2 cup sliced black olives
DIRECTIONS
1. Warm 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Season both sides of chicken with Cajun seasoning, and place in hot oil. Stir in crushed garlic. Cook chicken 5 minutes on each side, or until juices run clear. Remove chicken from skillet, drain on paper towels, cool slightly, and dice; discard oil and garlic.
2. In a small bowl, mix remaining olive oil, balsamic vinegar, mustard, salt, and pepper.
3. In a large bowl, gently toss the dressing with the mixed salad greens, arugula, avocado, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives. Top with diced chicken to serve.
My dinner menu for the rest of the week:
Monday: Birthday Breakfast: Anthony's request Baked Oatmeal and Bacon
Dinner: BBQ Burgers (it's fun to put unexpected things on the fixin's plate like basil, blue cheese, ham or fried eggs), Doritos, Grilled Asparagus, watermelon, homemade Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream
Tuesday: Out to dinner for Anthony's bday dinner (he is going to a BBQ for Sen. Smith Monday on his actual bday). Also making Peanut Butter Pie to drop off as a surprise for my little brother Josh's birthday.
Wednesday: Fab Summer Blackened Chicken X3
Thursday: Sausage Skillet Supper X3 for my family, except I use brown rice and cook it before I add it to the skillet. Serve with baby carrots. Quick meal as we have "House Church" tonight.
Friday: Bourbon Chicken
Napa Cabbage Salad
Saturday: Leftovers
Sunday: Chalupa
Serve with tortillas, avocado, sour cream, tomato, cilantro, green onions, cheese, etc.
One of our favorite meals (our family version is slightly different than this one, but close). Crockpot meal to have for Sunday dinner so it is ready after church with little to no effort.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Photoshoot
Andrew's senior pictures haven't been done yet, so I had to go out and take a bunch myself so we'd have one for his announcements. We had a fun time coming up with cool and also extra dorky poses. Some we thought would be cool but turned out dorky and vice versa.
It was pretty funny when his friend called to see when he'd be at the movie and he said (tongue-in-cheek) he was running a little late because he was doing a photoshoot.
As if him climbing that tree at the library wasn't scary enough for Mrs.Rule-Follower-Me (both because it was high and because I was sure the librarian would come out and scold us), a squirrel apparently was quite disturbed that Andrew had invaded her space, so she popped out and started growling. I am assuming she had a nest of little ones close by. She must have thought we were Jed and Ellie May or Granny Clampett and might eat them.
I didn't know squirrels could growl. Here is Andrew telling me that squirrels growl. He also mentioned that she might be about to bite him. Notice Mrs.Squirrel on left.
And here is my handsome son in a more relaxed pose.
It was pretty funny when his friend called to see when he'd be at the movie and he said (tongue-in-cheek) he was running a little late because he was doing a photoshoot.
As if him climbing that tree at the library wasn't scary enough for Mrs.Rule-Follower-Me (both because it was high and because I was sure the librarian would come out and scold us), a squirrel apparently was quite disturbed that Andrew had invaded her space, so she popped out and started growling. I am assuming she had a nest of little ones close by. She must have thought we were Jed and Ellie May or Granny Clampett and might eat them.
I didn't know squirrels could growl. Here is Andrew telling me that squirrels growl. He also mentioned that she might be about to bite him. Notice Mrs.Squirrel on left.
And here is my handsome son in a more relaxed pose.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Total Forgiveness Talk
Did you get all excited when you read the title of this post, thinking I was going to share something really juicy that I need to forgive someone for? Oh well, this is better. Not more fun, but BETTER:)
My friend K told me the author of one of my current favorite books, Total Forgiveness, has been on Focus on the family several times this week, drawing from parts of his book for discussion.I am going to listen to it. Here's the link if you want to listen to it too.
If you do, please leave a comment and tell me what you think, what parts struck you particularly, etc. I'd love to discuss it so it sticks in my brain.
My friend K told me the author of one of my current favorite books, Total Forgiveness, has been on Focus on the family several times this week, drawing from parts of his book for discussion.I am going to listen to it. Here's the link if you want to listen to it too.
If you do, please leave a comment and tell me what you think, what parts struck you particularly, etc. I'd love to discuss it so it sticks in my brain.
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